We Live! 2013

by Foot Pound Force

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1.
My zombie prostitute Is oh so beautiful no one gives head like a hooker that's dead I would never say that she was dried up and loose and I've never met a girl so willing to wear a noose If I could take her home I'd be a happy man I would hold her in my arms while she gnaws upon my hand My zombie hooker is quite a lovely snack she is so amazing I don't mind when she bites back every time I snuggle her She goes for my jugular She is so amazing Oh my vision is hazing Yesterday I just wanted in her bed No I just want to bite someones head My zombie girlfriend she left me in pain now I'm all empty inside I need to find some BRAIIIIIIIIIINS Undead Zombie girlfriend killin me again undead zombie hookers don't need you as a friend Ending: Run Run Run for your lives Zombie hookers out to get your zombie wives Grab your kids and head down to the mall Do have to drive fast, they can only crawl Take a shot but aim for their eyes That’s the only way to survive You don’t get second tries Gotta keep your family alive Grab some ammo and a shovel or two Gotta get them, before they bite you Smack em hard right in the face Oh my god it’s the end of the human race
2.
Down at the park Playin' my LARP Don't mess with me I'm in my character's sheet Here are the rules my friend in this live action game remember that, it's a masquerade You’re usin a made up name Don’t say hi If your buddies cruise by their not in the game You don’t know their name You are in character (You are in character) You are in character (You're in character) If you're not happy with the people you love You can't really suck their blood If real life ain’t good enough That's why I'm in the park In character (In character) In character Remember when you're in character to feed off homeless men you might get a dose of mouthwash or heroin Watch out for those hippies playin' in their drum circles they might, want, you to, join in there, fun (jerks) But remember, Vampires don't drum (because vampires don't have rhythm) Vampires don't have rhythm and Zombies can't strum a zombie vampire band wouldn't be much fun (uuuuuuuuhgggghhh) That's why I'm in character that's right I'm in character I can't tell you who I am I'm secretly a woman, oh and I can't acknowledge who you are 'cause I'm in character In character In character (In character) In character (In character now) In character In character
3.
When I walked into the light From the bail bondsmen place I had to get that feelin right (forget about my plight) I needed somethin greasy in my face Well I was just about as low as I could get I needed some food and I needed it quick So I jumped into the bathroom of the nearest Krispy Kreme and what did I see on the wall but a bacon machine Chorus: Bacon machine dispense your meat to me Bacon machine give me some lard to go with my krispy Kreme I need some bacon in my life I've been eatin' that healthy shit too long If pork isn't right What could ever be wrong I see that white box machine with instruction so clear and clean outstretch you hands and here it comes Press button and receive bacon *Bacon scat* Receive bacon Bridge : I put out my hands and I wait patiently I pressed the button but still I do not see that sound rushes past my ear I've found an empty bacon machine I fear bacon machine how do I please you If this one must be broke I'm off to the next public restroom Bacon machine dispense your meat to me Bacon machine give me some lard to go with my krispy Kreme bacon machine why don't you dispense your bacon to me Bacon god deliver me some of your sweet fatty meat If this bacon machine Won’t dispense it’s meat If this bacon machine Is empty I guess I’mma have to stroll on down the street And find myself the next Krispy Kreme
4.
06:57
I stayed home from school the other day So I could be alone with you I couldn't think of any other way to keep other boys from watching too Camera man, don't get the angles wrong I'm waiting for my girl to come onscreen I've waited for this moment oh so long You don't know how hard it's been I waited all afternoon for this Oh don't let me down, my TV Kiss This is a moment I don't want to miss Oh Come to me my TV Kiss lay my lips on the static This is the way it always happens My TV dreams come so alive when your pixels meet my saliva I brush away your hair but only push through the air It's just like in my dreams but you're so much flatter than it seems I waited all afternoon for this Oh don't let me down, my TV Kiss This is a moment I don't want to miss Oh Come to me my TV Kiss I'm waitin for deanna troy She sucked from my life all the joy I can't be with any other chick Who isn't brilliant and empathic She comes on screen With her boyfriend from LA I want him to put on a red shirt And just go away I waited all afternoon for this Oh don't let me down, my TV Kiss This is a moment I don't want to miss Oh Come to me my TV Kiss
5.
you know you wanted to be famous before you're thirty it's not gonna happen you've always been way too nerdy there's only like a hundred people who are famous you know you can't be one of them without your own tv show You're not good enough lookin And your voice sucks like brook Hogan And your dadddy wasn't famous was he? that's why you'll spend your life workin Your not smart enough to get famous for whoring out but if you want some lessons just give paris a shout we're gonna be famous on the internet we'll make it happen we just don't know how yet watch our video play on youtube we'll dance around in tutu's then maybe our album will get picked up by a label and then I'll ride out of this soup of mediocrity on a ladle my limosine will be a hundred feet long it'll have a pool filled with ladies in thongs I write songs that make fun of everyone All of my friends think I'm a pain in the neck well I got newsfor all of the: better belive that they're next We're gonna blow up real huge on the internet and be the next big thing We're gonna be famous on the internet everybody click on my link Write a blog or a status update tell us all the things you love to hate It's a massive case of internet narcissisum We're gonna have to reboot the entire system Your too stupid to understand your only a single grain of sand washed up on the beach of everyman Your 140 characters aren't that important you know you wanted to be famous before you're twenty eight
6.
04:58
Intro Rant: One day I woke up 8 PM sleepin' off a hangover from the previous night My old lady walked into the room she said "I'm hungry, we gotta get some waffles" at 8PM I said, "No time like the present" I don't know we kind of waffles It's hard to talk about waffles I mean waffles don't really do anything I mean they kind of just sit on your plate They fill up little pockets with syrup I know, and then butter I like to cut mine into little triangles and then eat them up one triangle at a time I once had a pair of bugle boy pants and I wore them into a gas station and this story has nothing to do with waffles but the lady at the gas station said, "By any chance are those bugle boy pants you're wearing?" and I said "Why yes they are" And that's the real story of this song Chorus: (Because) you have to wear pants to get waffles You gotta wear pants to get waffles they said no shoes, no service but if you don't wear pants you'll get thrown out on your ass Waffles don't really do much They just sit and soak up syrup When you gotta start your day and you don't know quite how gotta get a waffle get a waffle right now However you eat em who ever you am syrup and butter or strawberry jam Whenever you want em wherever you go really high class or really low only one rule you have to pass if you want a waffle gotta cover your ass (Chorus) Oh My pants Are bugle boy slacks I wear my khakis And tilt my baseball cap back I wear shoes whereever I go when I gotta get my waffle right can't be barefoot on the floor But . . . if you have a waffle iron and some batter in a bowl You ain't got a wear a thihg even pants are optional I can make waffles with my pants on the floor I can make waffles with my pants on the door I can make waffles any time of day I can make waffles dressed any old way I can make waffles dressed like clown I take my waffle iron anywhere in town I got a waffle iron (Chorus) Well the heavy handed moral Of my didactic waffle song Is that the clothes don't make the man But no clothes can make him wrong If you can't wear shoes and you on't wear shirts at least pull your on pants unless you wanna get hurt Cause I hate low riders I hate low riders I hate low riders I hate low riders
7.
03:06
8.
Let me tell you about a book I once read Brings back the evil I thought was dead Bound in bone and human flesh Should have put it back in the professors desk Here I am in the cabin in the woods Open this book, read a few lines I thought everything was good But I was staring at my demise I have to own every Bruce Campbell movie I like the way he does things I know if evil ever comes near Bruce Campbell will save me I was caught in a bruce Campbell movie the other day Said a couple words you should never say Then a vortex opened, right before my eyes I could see the end of my life Now I got a chainsaw chasing after me And I got no hope of escape I wonder what bruce Campbell would do in this movie Don’t know, but I know that it’d be great Oh, plot device, plot device Movie warp through a magical portal Plot device plot device Save the day Deus ex machina
9.
I think so many things are not totally outrageous and I think that sometimes you fools are too too courageous The animation is failing things I need today Never gave me anything I really needed any-way so just get out of my head lessons from the past I don't need the answers to the questions I never asked Chorus: Why have you failed me Television from my childhood I went back and watched those shows But none of them were that good Why did you try to sell me All those plastic things Why do you ruin my idols On the silver screen How come it seems like Cobra Commander rules the world? and I can't get an action figure to save my girl? if good always wins, then where's the good for me oh, I don't GI Joe is tellin me everything (Chorus) I’ve never been defeated On a double dog dare I’ll defeat all your evil With a care bear stare I will kill the skeletons Rattling my bones By the power of greyskull I will make this world my home I can see decepticons Every where I look Chasing after my enerjon Fighting for my cube Thundercats HO We’re all gonna go Find the people who ruined All our favorite shows (Chorus)
10.
03:04
Chorus: Did you get my love memo? I sent it through the limbo My instant messages they just go too slow I need to tell you how I feel I use my big word so you know its real My nether tubes All vibrate for you Got a dozen hearts all beatin' in tune If only my words were smooth like the love between me and you I would never never lose the feelin that only comes from you I wish I could write good and read good too Then I could read the memo that came from you (Chorus) Girl you the most everything I strain everytime I think to compare to your pretty pink You know what I mean, nudge nudge wink wink Good morning baby Hope you feel more good the stuff between me and you like white oreo Goo If only my words were great like the love you and I would make Like that time in the trailer park, like the best steak I ever ate Oh yeah, like tasty chitlins and uh some chicken wings I wanna eat you up more than anything (Chorus) Like the sunrise on a purdy lake love with you I want to make but the words never seem to come I think of somethin good but it only sounds dumb And lovin you long as a rainbow Givin you pretty smile and go home only my heart can know the pretty things that make you so Did you get my Love Memo
11.
12.
Down at the park Playin' my LARP Don't mess with me I'm in my character's sheet Here are the rules my friend in this live action game remember that, it's a masquerade You’re usin a made up name Don’t say hi If your buddies cruise by their not in the game You don’t know their name You are in character (You are in character) You are in character (You're in character) If you're not happy with the people you love You can't really suck their blood If real life ain’t good enough That's why I'm in the park In character (In character) In character Remember when you're in character to feed off homeless men you might get a dose of mouthwash or heroin Watch out for those hippies playin' in their drum circles they might, want, you to, join in there, fun (jerks) But remember, Vampires don't drum (because vampires don't have rhythm) Vampires don't have rhythm and Zombies can't strum a zombie vampire band wouldn't be much fun (uuuuuuuuhgggghhh) That's why I'm in character that's right I'm in character I can't tell you who I am I'm secretly a woman, oh and I can't acknowledge who you are 'cause I'm in character In character In character (In character) In character (In character now) In character In character
13.
Chorus: I got fragged by a noob I got fragged by a guy with a silly name I got fragged by a noob He said I was kinda lame, yeah I can't point my mouse at you and hit the button at the same time but my microphone tells the truth at least I can put together a dope rhyme Oh no I think I'm out of ammo I think I can't shoot my gun I'm gonna have to pick up my stuff try to make it on the run I got fragged by a noob He played a strange game He had letters that I couldn't pronounce Spelled with numbers on his name I'm not sure what to do with this rocket launcher I've got You come running after me with your- la--ser swo-o-ord man that thing's so hot I'm shootin you with the biggest gun I Found You keep hittin me with a pistol I through a million bullets at your ass but every single one missed you You always win because I only play these games at night But I don’t have to ask My parents if it's alright Oh I found a secret weapon but in the end what have I got I found a hundred hiding places you always get me with a headshot found a nice little vehicle guess I'll give it a whirl I'll still feel good if you beat me cause I can leave this game and make out with a real girl Real girl make out with a real girl real girl
14.
I got a solution to your problem If you got a problem with your game i will tell you the answer I will whisper them and you will yell my name I have some hydrochloric acid I might just melt away your brain I know it's confusing but yeah i know that you heard what I said Chorus: Stand back, I'm gonna try science I'm gonna do it just for you Stand back I'm gonna try science Bitches don't know about my test tube! evolution Keeps me on my toes but scientologists make me want to punch them in the nose Creation-ist think your design is intelligent give them some more funding but boy don't you wonder where that money went stand back I'm gonna try science I'm gonna give Einstein a bad name stand back I'm gonna try science if this doesn't work, back to the drawing board again Mix up some more chemistry to explode behind your eyes how it works is a mystery that it works at all is the best surprise I will lift your heart up against gravity my friction will work against your plain we will wonder why it's so strange to be in each others orbits again (Chorus) So i pray to an empty god who shines some sun down on my soul I wonder if I can read or write the wonder that I know And i walk up to the face of him I pull out all my instruments I'll bring back enough evidence To prove my mind is finally out of reach And I know the molar weight of all your sins and I know I can calculate everywhere you've been And I know that meaning is elusive when the night is over and I'm goin home and you're goin home with him *** Stand back I'm gonna try science Stand back, I'm gonna bring it down stand back I'm gonna try science gonna bring these chemicals around Stand back I'm gonna try science Cause I'me a man of action Stand back I'm gonna try science gonna watch this exothermic reaction
15.
I tied a barbie doll to a track of Make Believe train set When howdy doody comes he’s gonna be upset I cut off the head of my little pony put'em in the bed of Ken doll, that phony Chorus: I'm an action figure super villian I take good toys and kill them I'm not out for the money or any of that normal evil stuff I like to play with my toys a little too rough I cut the heart right out of a Care Bear while all of his little friends had to watch and Care Bear Stare well I had a Teddy Rukspin I replaced with one of me just cussin' You've never seen a 5 year old quite so shocked or a Teddy Rukspin tied up and sunk to the bottom of a lake with a rock I am Teddy Rukspin Can I read you a story about a bad kid who torched all his friends There was that time when during the blizzard of '82 Hoth appeared in my front yard I was Luke Skywalker freezin' to death out on the tundra that ice creature nearly ate me and now I was waitin' for Ben My neighbor had to cut open the Taun taun and stuff me inside he neglected to tell me it was my dog Bridge: Gi Joe tranny Gi Joe Tranny Ken goes out for a night on the town looking for the best reststop to hang around He drives real fast so he isn't late he needs to pickup is hasbro date They really hit it off at once Lookin for secluded place to go He's picked up himself a tranny GI Joe Ken's findin out that it's not his day he's in for a plastic suprise he's dressed like scarlett or lady jay but comes with the package like snake eyes But she's not gonna let this one slip She's got herself a Kung Fu Grip!
16.
07:31
For all I know my guitar is a robot it transforms into a robot At night my guitar transforms into a robot of doom it has magical powers and it can defeat evil robots with ease it shoots rockets out of its neck it has treads that come out of the bridge my robot guitar (that's gonna be terrible) My robot guitar My robot guitar can defeat you My robot guitar landed from the stars came from outer space smacked me on the face I've never been the same my robot guitar it has a name it's Guitar My bass is a robot it transforms at night and joins the robot guitar in a quest in their battle against evil evil in the form of bands that suck Watch out Dokken they're comin' for you My robot bass has a special power the strings turn into electric whips they touch anybody they're fried it makes them shake their hips The eyes in the room are lookin' at the star their butts are all shakin' to the bass guitar My guitar shoots lasers of pure solid rock they will hit you and make you dance like a jock right in the cock but then my robot guitar can't stand up to the most power robotic instrument of all the robotic drums played by animatronic robot thumbs makes mad beats that make the street shake it's name is earthquake it beats up drum machines wherever it goes because drum machines have no souls of course everything is perfect in a drum machine of course everything is perfect when you have no soul

about

This album is a collection of live recordings from DragonCon and ChargerCon 2013.

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released August 28, 2014

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Foot Pound Force Huntsville, Alabama

Foot Pound Force is a Nerd Rock band based in Huntsville Alabama.We're an alloy of Weezer and MC Front-a-lot, with 80% Geek, 15% Rock, and the remainder a mix of musical styles.We've been heat treated to a hardness of F'n Metal Rockwell

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